LOCATION: PALO ALTO, CALIFORNIA • APRIL 24th, 2020
Outfit Details: BHLDN Dress, Miansai Cuff Bracelet
I love being in my thirties! In high school, I once lamented to my best friend that I couldn’t wait until we were old enough to have coffee table books and now I have arrived! So in honor of turning 33 this week, I’ve put together a list of things I’ve learned over the years. Some of these things have come naturally to me, while others I struggle with and am still working on a daily basis. Here they are, in no particular order:
33. The only predictable thing about life is that life is unpredictable. Like none of us expected this pandemic (ok, maybe except Bill Gates).
32. You can’t always change the world, but you can change how you view it.
31. Embrace your current season of life.
30. Your biggest critic is yourself. Learn to ignore your inner critic when you know it’s wrong and learn self talk. Self talk can help pull yourself out of a spiral of negative thoughts.
29. Just start. Stop waiting for permission from yourself or other people. This is one that I often struggle with and I’m still working on.
28. Get enough sleep. If you think everyone hates you or you hate everyone, you probably need sleep (or food).
27. Stop apologizing for not being into things everyone else likes: sweatpants, Game of Thrones, beer.
26. Life’s too short to wear clothes you hate. It’s time to donate or consign those pieces you bought, but have never worn. They sit in the back of our closets and haunt us. I know we all have them.
25. Be the bigger woman. Be the first to reach out if you think you’ve hurt someone one, either to try to clarify misunderstandings or to apologize. Also give other people a chance to apologize and learn from it. The best apology is changed behavior.
24. Saying “no'' to some things allows you to say “yes” to others. I used to say “yes” to everything because I had a fear of missing out. Now I’ve started saying “yes” only to the events and projects I really want to do. This also helps with preventing social burnout.
23. Being a feminist is believing in the right to have a choice. A woman who chooses to stay-at-home with her kids and a woman who chooses to have a full time job are both exercising feminism. Let’s stop judging each other for the choices people make. We are called to do different things and find fulfillment in different ways.
22. Learn a good skincare routine. Y’all I used St. Ives facial scrub all the way through graduate school. It’s basically taking sandpaper to your face! We’ve all made bad skincare mistakes. With the right products, I was able to fix the redness, the dry patches, and the hormonal acne.
21. Build a relationship with your local pharmacist and ideally stick to one pharmacy (chain). It’s important to have the history of all the medications you are taking or have taken be in one place. We are always on the lookout for potential drug interactions between what you are taking and we see you more often than your doctor does.
20. Social Media is a tool meant to enhance your life. Periodically reevaluate its role in your life. Learn to use the unfollow button. There is a reason it exists.
19. Single people have single people problems, married people have married people problems. Don’t compare problems, listen more.
18. Wear sunscreen, protect your skin.
17. Find a good taylor you trust. A few well-placed stitches can change the entire look and feel of an outfit.
16. Learn to save money. Set a budget or financial goals and reward yourself when you hit milestones.
15. Comparison really is the theft of joy.
14. Teach people how to treat you. This is a huge one I learned from my mother. She used to remind my brothers and I that people don’t have the innate sense of how you want to be treated, you have to teach them. People often step on your toes simply because they didn’t know it was something that bothered you. This is also a great way to judge other people’s character - do they listen when you ask how you want to be treated? If not, it’s time to move on from them.
13. Family first, but only if they act like it. Families are supposed to love you unconditionally and want what’s best for you.They are not entitled to you simply because you share DNA.
12. Hold your head high even when people are trying to tear you down. Don’t stoop to their level. Some people just don’t want to see you succeed. Learn to trust in your own self-worth!
11. Diversify your reading habits. Educate yourself to both sides of an issue so you can engage in thoughtful conversations. Read books.
10. Find an exercise routine you enjoy and stick with it. It doesn’t have to be running or yoga. I discovered The Bar Method when I moved to California and it was life changing! Their live stream is keeping me sane during this quarantine!
9. Be with someone who pushes you to be the best version of yourself and you do the same for them. The best relationships are where both people think they got the better end of the deal.
8. Learn your love languages and those of your partner. This will help you articulate how you want to be loved and learn how they want to be loved.
7. Quality over quantity. This goes for friends, shoes, and alcohol.
6. Invest in true friendships, people that have your back and you lift each other up. It’s ok to grow out of friendships too. Don’t forget to reach out to the ones who are in a different stage of life than you are. I’m often guilty of this when I think my friends with children are too busy and probably don’t have time for me. I promise they will love to hear from you.
5. Take care of your health before you have to and listen to your body. I now eat relatively diary-free and no longer have stomach pains/reactions/inflammation. Make your annual health appointments and commit to them!
4. The best way to eat healthy is to learn to cook. Read food labels - you’ll be shocked to find how much sugar and sodium is packed in processed food! Learn the basics, have 5 dishes that you can make over and over again with confidence! You don’t need expensive or fancy equipment, but I highly recommend an Instant-pot!
3. Nourish your inner child! Life is meant to be enjoyed - have a spontaneous picnic in an open field or jump on your bed in a dress. This time spent in quarantine has really shown me the importance of creating your own fun.
2. Pray or meditate. This will help you find inner peace and give you time to self-reflect.
1. We are all more interconnected than we realize. This pandemic has taught us anything, it’s how much we depend on each other.
An extra for good luck: Live generously. Everyone has been blessed with different gifts; find ways to positively impact other people whether it’s with your time, your wealth, or your talents. My mother was a big believer in using the good china whenever we had guests. It didn’t matter if we had one guest or twenty. She always asks that people not try to repay her, but to pay it forward.
XO,
Tiffany
